Have you just decided to get a divorce? Divorce expert M. Gary Neuman outlines the three rules parents should follow when telling their children about divorce.
1. Tell them together as a family. It's crucial that you send a message of unity at this moment when the family dynamic is about to change.
2. You have 45 seconds to keep their attention before their minds begin to race because Mom and Dad aren't going to be living together anymore.
There are three messages you want to get across in that short amount of time:
"Mom and Dad have made each other sad and feel that in the long run it's best for the family to live apart."
"You will still spend lots of time with each of us in our homes."
"This divorce is not your fault."
3. Practice, practice, practice what you will say together with your spouse. In the initial meeting, don't use the word divorce yet. Just discuss living apart, and you can discuss divorce at a later time. After the initial short talk, stay in the room. Sit and listen to what your children have to say and use feeling statements to help them open up ("I imagine you might be feeling _________ about what's going on with Mom and Dad.")
From: http://www2.oprah.com/relationships/relationships_content.jhtml?contentId=con_20070926_divorcerules.xml§ion=Breakups/Divorce&subsection=Breakups/Divorce
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