Words That Hurt: "Just get over it already!"

When we think about words that hurt people, we often think of very harsh or critical comments. While such comments are indeed hurtful, some of the most damaging remarks are often the most innocuous. One example of these subtle, but deadly, phrases is: Just get over it!

The truth is that if someone is having trouble getting over something, there is a reason. Telling them to get over it already or to hurry up and let it go basically tells them that you are tired of listening to them and their feelings don't really matter to you. Not good!

Instead, validate their feelings and ask what they need to feel better. You might say something like, "Honey, I see how upset you are about this and I understand. It makes sense to me that you feel _________. What can I do to help make this better for you?"

Experiment with this technique and let me know how it works for you. I'd love to hear about your success!

-Dr Kathy