Affair Recovery: 10 Things You Need to Know

One of you will go through a grieving process; the other will go through a withdrawal process.

When innocent spouses learn their partner has had an affair, they usually feel sickened and shocked. After the shock has worn off, anger and profound hurt set in. The process of grieving has been broken down into five steps: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. If you have just learned that your spouse has had an affair, it’s likely that you will go through all six of these stages. You will need additional emotional support during this time, so it is important to find a close friend, of the same sex, to whom you can talk to about your feelings. If you have just ended an affair, it is likely that you will go through a parallel process where you experience “withdrawal” symptoms. Much like one who has just stopped drinking or stopped doing any pleasurable activity, you may experience anxiety, cravings and discomfort. This is normal and to be expected. Many people find it advantageous to talk to their MD about taking some medication to help them cope with these withdrawal symptoms. You will need additional emotional support during this time, so it is important to find a close friend, of the same sex, to whom you can talk to about your feelings. For both of you: It will take time for you to heal from an affair – 6 months is often the minimum.