Wondering which of your behaviors keep your relationship close? Or which ones push partners apart? Many researchers have asked these very questions of different couples and these are a few of their responses:
Behaviors that create closeness:
Accepting
Soothing
Reassuring
Comforting
Discussing; not arguing
Listening
Talking
Spending time together
Acting in ways that show care, concern, and interest
Behaviors that create distance and discomfort in a relationship:
Lying
Blaming
Criticizing
Judging
Manipulating
Rewarding to control (where you give someone a reward to try to shape/change their behavior in a somewhat manipulative or controlling way)
Iolating (Keeping your partner away from important things, activities, or people in his/her life)
Nagging
Questioning
In looking at this list, what do you think? What would you add to this list? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
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