Affair Recovery: 10 Things You Need to Know

Trust must be gradually and slowly rebuilt.

Once an affair is disclosed or discovered, the innocent spouse typically finds it very difficult to trust their spouse at all. The affair has likely rocked the innocent spouse to the core; many find themselves wondering if they can trust anything they thoughts they knew about their partner. So it would be unreasonable for an offending spouse to expect to be fully trusted; innocent spouses need time to grieve and time to learn that they can trust you again. Trust is earned and after an affair, the best way for trust to be rebuilt is to keep no secrets and make your life an open book. I have found that couples who recover from affairs the fastest are (1) open to allowing their spouse to have total access to their lives and communication devices, and (2) open to discussing and explaining communication anomalies. As such, I believe that offending spouses should allow their spouses to monitor their phone calls, their emails, their mail…at least for a while. All of us have a desire for privacy, but if you’ve had an affair, you need to let go of your privacy needs for a while in order to allow your spouse to come to know that you have truly ended your affair.